No One Wins a Personal Argument Online

by | Oct 28, 2019 | VO Business | 5 comments

 The details are almost unimportant.

A disagreement recently occurred online between two strong personalities who are associated with the voiceover business (not talent).

  • Accusations escalated.
  • Misunderstandings got compounded.
  • Public positioning and rhetoric grew.
  • Reputations and pride had to be defended.

The very public dialog went from a FB group to personal blogs and around again.  

Again, I’ll not get into the mud on the details.  There is reason to find room enough to be convinced on either side if you look hard enough.

I’m Monday-morning quarterbacking, of course, but this might be a good time to remember that no one ever convinced anybody to change their mind in a heated online back ‘n’ forth.

That’s fine, Dave, until it’s YOU being attacked.

I HAVE been attacked – many times – in extremely public forums and media outlets.  I’ve been maligned and misquoted frequently.  As a media personality, I actually was the mouthpiece on the news that DID that to people, then had to read scripted apologies.  I know all sides of this conundrum.

What I learned?  Best to approach the other party in person and in private to reslove.  If that doesn’t work, and the other party chooses to go public, then one short, firm statement is all that is required in response.  Then shutup.

It all goes away quickly.  On to the next messy story.

Those who want to know the real truth will come to you and ask.  Then you have the time to explain.

People will try to pick at you when you’re on top.  You protect your integrity when you choose not to get down into the dirt with them.  

Some people manage to sink their own boats.

In today’s social media world, you might think such disagreements deserve to be aired for all to see so you will be absolved.  Rarely does it work, if ever.

21st century voyeurs love nothing more than to see someone else’s troubles (Kardashians, Housewives of Atlanta, Biggest Loser, etc.). 

Best not to give them that twisted pleasure at your own expense.

 

 

CourVO

 

 

 

 

 

 

and….

 

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5 Comments

  1. Terry Daniel

    Great post Dave! VO groups in general have slowly become a playground for combative behavior. It’s childish and a toxic waste of time. The VO Pros group was created for the sole purpose of exchanging VO tips and stories about our day. Social media has a crazy way of manipulating really nice people into combative narcissists. For me, I have to do a better job vetting in my own groups!

    Reply
  2. Scott Fortney

    Excellent advice, Dave! I used to run two groups, but the moderating and policing became a time hog. Now it’s just the one, and that is still time consuming. It’s amazing how egos can ruin things. Another tip to online combatants: write it, read it, sleep, read it again, don’t post it, and go back to sleep.

    Reply
    • CourVO

      Thanks for reading and replying, Scott…I appreciate your following my blog!

      You are so right! People get all caught up in their own stuff.

      Best,

      Dave Courvoisier

      Reply
  3. Chris Mezzolesta

    So since I am no longer on Facebook, it looks like I missed all the fun! Who needs it….

    Reply
    • CourVO

      You are not missing a thing, Chris!

      God to hear from you though, and to know you’re still reading my blog at least!

      Dave C

      Reply

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