7 Absolute Myths

by | Jul 14, 2008 | Op/Ed

The Swiss proudly claim William Tell as their national hero.  Tell_william
You know — he’s the guy who was ordered to shoot an apple off the head of his son with a crossbow for failing to bow to some Hessian guy who was trying to take over the land.  Tell’s defiance sparked a rebellion leading to the formation of the Swiss Confederation.

My father was born and lived in and around Geneva before he emigrated to the US.  I think I inherited a healthy dose of the Swiss non-conformist view.  Hence my list of the following seven popular things that I am convinced are absolute baloney:

1)  Money CAN’T buy you happiness.  It CAN lead to bickering, and it can’t buy you eternity, nor can you spend your way to happiness by frivolously throwing it away in a wild spree of entitlement buying…but knowing the bills will be paid and you’ve got something saved for unexpected contingencies offers a HUGE peace of mind…and that my friends, contributes greatly to happiness.

2) Karma. I know, I know…it’s a VERY popular philosophy right now.  And it’s nice to think when you DO good, you’ll GET good in return, or if you’re rotten, you’ll get hit by a bus eventually.  But it simply doesn’t work that way.  Even the old “eye for an eye” quote from the bible doesn’t support the theory.  Karma is basic to Eastern thought that has cows freely walking the streets in New Dehli. OK, I’m showing my Christian roots, now, so I’ll shut up…but we don’t get to choose who gets to heaven, God does.

3) A better microphone makes you a better voice-actor. …and we voice actors LOVE to sniff, swish-around-in-the-glass, and sip from the finest Peluso’s, Senny’s, and Neumann’s grown on hillsides around the world.  But unless you know how to make love to your mic, it won’t bring sacks of money to your front porch.

4) Marketing is easy.  Maybe it is for Dan Kennedy or Susan Berkley…but there are those of us out in this milieu of sensory overload who struggle to see how one more little voice can be heard over the Pepsi’s, the Toyota’s, and the Geico’s of the world.

5) There aren’t enough hours in the day.  There are. ‘Cause if you carry that thinking out logically, then there aren’t enough days, weeks, months, years, or seasons of life either, and then you’re back to karma, which we already pointed out, doesn’t work.  You want different results?  Do someting differently on the front end.

6) Bush is a bad president.  Have you forgotten about pizza deliveries to the oval office by Monica?  The guy barely had a chance to put his socks on when 9-11 hit.  He didn’t plan for Iraq or Afghanistan to be his legacy. This is where the Swiss in me really comes out, but I think history will prove he was an honorable man who made some tough decisions and stuck by his guns.  (Go ahead, flame me….but I’m not changing my mind)

7)  Fords are better than Chevy’s

7)  Bob Souer is a nice guy.

7)  Slinkies were the best toy ever made.

7)  Canadians invented Canadian bacon

7) (OK, I’m struggling here) Don’t stir the pot.  Tough lesson for me to learn: not everyone is going to like you. That doesn’t give you license to taunt…it just means you can’t be afraid to be yourself.  My therapist tells me I shy away from confrontation and it only makes things worse for ME.   So stir the pot…and if you ruffle a few feathers in the process… no worries, a little bad karma never hurt.





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